10 Signs of an Impending Zombie Outbreak

October 28th, 2008 by The Toadmaster

1. There are graveyard disturbances
Odd stories in the local newspapers of graves being disturbed and cemeteries vandalized should alert you to the possibility of a zombie virus spreading. Until another explanation for this activity is found try to get out of big cities and densely populated areas. Stay away from schools, hospitals and other places where you might come into contact with someone who is already infected.

Image credit: almostincognito from Flickr

2. Unexplained hospital cases on the rise
Unexplained medical conditions and paranormal phenomena are less likely to appear in local media but keep an eye open for cases of strange viruses, amnesiacs, John Does and rumours of people returning from the dead.

3. People disappearing from your community
If anyone from your community disappears in odd circumstances consider the possibility that they might have become infected with the virus or fallen prey to a stray zombie. If, at this stage, you are already prepared for an outbreak and are well armed it might be prudent to gather some friends and track down the cause of each disappearance. You might be able to prevent an outbreak from getting started.

4. An outbreak of unknown disease
Remember the media reaction to the SARS coronavirus pandemic and the spread of avian influenza? Be aware that an outbreak of zombie virus will prompt a similar reaction from the media – pay attention to information about the cause of the outbreak, the method of transmission, how contagious it is, and, most importantly, where the outbreak is centered. If it’s somewhere close to you, try and get overseas if airline travel is still permitted, or leave the state if you can.

Image credit: cheeseloaf from Flickr

5. The media begins to panic
Once an outbreak of zombie virus is confirmed (the government might try to call it something else, be on guard for this) all you are going to get from the media is panic and talking heads theorizing on the causes of the outbreak. If you’d been paying attention to earlier media activity you should be somewhere safe and defensible. Switch off the TV and start stocking up on food, water, first aid supplies, means of communications (radio, cellphones etc) and WEAPONRY.

6. The government tells you not to worry
Around the time that people are rushing around trying to prepare themselves (legally and by looting shops and warehouses) the state and national governments will be broadcasting messages to all citizens to stay calm, stay home, and rely on local emergency services such as police, fire brigades, hospitals, and civil defense. Ignore the government’s pleadings and concentrate on making sure the people you care about will be safe. By doing this you are freeing up local services to help the less-prepared.

7. Your local government bursts into activity
If you are in an affected area you’ll notice plenty of local government action – putting quarantine zones in place, mobilizing civil defense personnel, setting up of local communications systems, and establishing a local command center.

8. A state of emergency is declared
When local preparations are overwhelmed, the population becomes unmanageable, or the zombies form into hordes a state of emergency will be declared in your area. This suspends the normal functions of your government (whether it is at a local, federal or national level will depend on the severity of the outbreak) and allows emergency plans to be fully implemented, the military to take control, and civil liberties to be withdrawn. At this stage the military will start becoming involved, shifting soldiers into strategic positions, transporting supplies, and aiding local official in enforcing quarantine rules.

Image credit: mr.smashy from Flickr

9. Military control is enforced
To make army operations more effective, you may be transported to a holding zone with other uninfected people from your area. This is to streamline the zombie eradication process – with you out of the way the army doesn’t have to worry about civilian casualties. Whether you go willingly or not, do your best to retain your weapons and ammunition, for all you know the army may not be able to defend you and you’ll be relying on yourself again. Or be prepared to fend for yourself against the zombies and the military.

10. There are zombies in your street
If signs 1 to 9 have whooshed over your head as you sit in front of the computer screen, have a look out the window for zombies shuffling down your street in search of human flesh. If they’re there – it’s a sure sign that an outbreak of zombie virus has begun.

31 Comments

  1. Avinash says:

    I like how well explained each one is; better than other lists. Hmmm, I have only noticed #3…time to go exploring in isolated and scary places with no cell coverage as proper horror movie etiquette dictates…yays

  2. JuanS says:

    Now those bastards won’t have a piece of me!

  3. Dr.Jack Mehofer says:

    Will they come after me? After all, I AM braless—–I mean, brainless.

    How about my ex-wife? Anyway I could use her as bait?

  4. GregOreo says:

    I will be ready for that day.

  5. websinthe says:

    I just realised I’ll need to update my Zombie escape plan.

  6. The Toadmaster says:

    Zombie escape plan 101: Shotgun. Haha.

  7. BadEvan says:

    I have worked on my Zombie Escape Plan for the past 5 yrs. I have retooled and changed it to fit the needs of a growing family.

    The biggest thing to change in my ZEP was the addition of a back up meeting site, in case the family gets split up. That way no one gets left behind as food. Plus, we have changed our main weapons to sharp objects. Like swords, machetes and knives. They are silent and never need reloading.

  8. GlamorousKaos says:

    another good thing is the Zombie Survival Guide Book =]

  9. Freya Bairnsworth says:

    Thank you for outlining the essentials of a zombie outbreak. As an OH&S Advisor for a large government department, I will take these recommendations onboard when redesigning our evacuation processes and OH&S safety procedures. Since a zombie outbreak is imminent in the current world climate, it is imperative that we plan ahead; hence, I have already started to run zombie drills in our office.

  10. T.T. says:

    This generation is the shit. I would bet that the majority of us are very literally prepared for a zombie outbreak…. everyone I know is armed to the teeth and waiting.

  11. Dokay says:

    Thank the videogames for that.

  12. eric girold says:

    I love me some zombies. Let’s make pals with ‘em

  13. bunny says:

    actually, don’t go to the airport as stated in step 4.
    it’s probably already full of viruses.
    just stay home, use yer shotguns and axes and cutlery to defend yer loved ones.
    and remember:
    quarantine ya’ll!

  14. s of an Impending Zombie Outbreak | Toadtrip? Seriously? I was searching Google for avian flu computer and found this… will have to think about it.

  15. murderface says:

    thanks for the advice,im paranoid about this stuff and now im more prepared

  16. T.T. says:

    yeah f*ck the airport, zombie survival guide!!! get it, its a must read!

  17. Jake says:

    Whoah, whoah. Great list–apart from number one. Disturbed graves? Zombies rarely, if ever, are buried before they ‘turn.’ Even so, under so many pounds of dirt, their fingers would wear to nubs against the casket lid.

  18. Pixiewing says:

    I just wanted to say that it’s good to see someone giving credit for images :)

  19. The Toadmaster says:

    Thanks for all the great comments everyone :-)

  20. Nathen says:

    I believe that this is very helpful. Nowadays, people are more informed on how to handle a zombie outbreak. I believe that if this were to happen, the zombies would be anialated.

  21. [...] a month ago I wrote this article for ToadTrip.com (to coincide with the launch of Zompocalypse). The topic, 10 Signs of an Impending [...]

  22. Fokitup says:

    I take the impending threat of zombie attacks very seriously and have with me at all times a plank of wood (2″4) and a 5kg bag of ground coffee.

  23. Seth says:

    This is excellent advice. I’ll have to work on making a “zombie escape plan”. I had no idea how serious a zombie outbreak is! Thanks for the great advice.

    Seth
    http://fun-dad.blogspot.com

  24. river says:

    dude i cant wait till the outbreak happens like it would be awsome but wut if the zombies were like left 4 dead zombies or 28 days later styl zombies…………………..screw it it would still be awsome

  25. src says:

    I’m thinking it would be awesome right now… but if it happened, i’m sure we’d all be scared shitless, don’t lie…

  26. Bill says:

    if the zombies are in left 4 dead style, we will all be screwed. still I must agree, it would be fucking awesome if it really happened.

  27. Mikel says:

    i love zombies and i hope that the world ends with zombies not damn weather shit happening. if i find out it started ill gather some of my friends and family and shoot’em down

  28. Mikel says:

    i love zombies and i hope that the world ends with zombies not damn weather shit happening. if i find out it started ill gather some of my friends and family and shoot’em down but yea i cant wait.

  29. Bocefus says:

    Fuck using knives unless you have some kind of hazmat suit. Anyone who isn’t the main character in a zombie film who has to resort to killing zombies with anything but a gun has zombie blood squirted all over them and then they’re fucked.

  30. Blake says:

    #1. Should not be on there. The only way a zombie could “return from the grave” is if they are buried before they reanimate, and this about this. Modern coffins are super thick and your buried 6 feet below the ground so even a zombie would have a hard time clawing and digging through that. But the rest are great!

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